<u><b>Aerith's Mid-Season Medic Power Rankings</b></u>

<i>So there I was the other day, browsing the USL forums, wallowing in sadness because I couldn't get enough people to sign up for my forum mafia game (ya'll suck), when low and behold a new thread appeared.</i>

"Top 14 Most Impactful Player of S23"

*click*

<i>I start reading this and aside from Iron, all I see is nerd marine after nerd marine after nerd lmg after nerd marine, etc.</i>

*Insert Jackie Chan Confused Face Meme.*

<i>Kaga, are you fucking kidding me? As a former all-time top-5 medic yourself, I can't believe this shit. Let's see here.</i>

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<b>Sov:</b> Hasn't logged off of Infantry in 18 years. Doesn't count.
<b>Iron:</b> Only Medic on the list. Sup Iron.
<b>Tactical:</b> Not even a SKer anymore. Just plays CTF eight hours a night. Sorry nerd, you can't repulse those streams slamming into your face or get bailed out by turrets.
<b>Sol:</b> 2-8, Does anything else need to be said?
<b>The Mountain:</b> Is this guy named the Mountain because he and his teams never move? You know, like mountains. Playing his teams when he's leading is like having spec info. You always know they're in front of their base.
<b>Splittah:</b> I'm still waiting for the sb to start 45 minutes later.
<b>Legacy:</b> Somehow gets more assist points than tg. Not a good thing.
<b>Easoe/Jeff/Mecca:</b> One doesn't exist, one's video card blew up to try and save him from another season of disappointment where easoe doesn't show and the other is on a multi-game losing streak to the gift and not even sov could save him. Imagine.
<b>TG:</b> Didn't even do anything. Literally. Getting credit for being a good leader but everyone else is calling the shots while he takes the credit.
<b>Eric</b>: Retired then unretired only to lose. Should have stayed retired and then would have been able to brag that he was the reason sov hadn't lost in 3 seasons. Good thing he's a nurse because someone's gonna have to administer IV fluids to sov if his team disappoints him again.
<b>Pistor:</b> Not gonna lie, Pistor is chill and has played med in the past. Not a med this season though so fuck you too (sorry).
<b>Backs:</b> Probably 24 hours from being banned again. What an impact. At least he still has a Hellcat, or three or five or whatever number it is.
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<i>Yo, nice impact. A bunch of retards who wouldn't survive without the medics behind them. Hell, some of them can't even survive even with a medic behind them because they're that bad. In any regard, I decided to throw together a medic power rankings list together to give the medics the credit they deserve. Without you guys, everyone else would be useless. gj meds - Eva</i>

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<b>Disclaimer:</b> If you didn't have at least three games (on medic) played, you weren't included. Sorry.

<b>Disclaimer 2:</b> I'm also assuming that the playoff format will feature four squads as with the last few seasons.

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<b>1. Sov</b>
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6-2, 1,778 Healing vs Paypigs
4-6, 4,116 Healing vs Warhawks
1-0, 3,162 Healing vs Nexus
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<i>10 Kills, 8 Deaths, 2,947 Healing Average (1-1 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>
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Controversial from the get go? Maybe, but thus far in the season, despite not being a full-time medic, Sov has better numbers than Iron. Couple that with the fact that he's leading and it's even more impressive. I don't expect Sov to be here at the end of the season solely because he'll play a different class vs Warhawks (and maybe Paypigs), but if he wanted to, he could be the one to dethrone his own brother and swipe the end of the season medic award. Speaking of which...

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<b>2. Iron</b>
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7-1, 2,430 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
2-0, 3,128 Healing vs Nexus
3-7, 3,168 Healing vs Warhawks
7-1, 2,694 Healing vs Nexus
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<i>3 Kills, 7 Deaths, 3,168 Healing Average (0-1 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

The reigning medic god like Fairfax, CC and Stavudine (free infantry only) before him. The only surprise here is that he's not number one. For the first time in three seasons he looked vulnerable and yet his one average game (Warhawks) was still better than the majority of medic's best games. There's a reason Iron has won best medic three seasons in a row and chances are good he'll win it a fourth time. Iron has a ways to go to catch up to Fax, but he's getting closer. Maybe Fax should switch back to medic before the award gets renamed to Iron's Redoubt, yeah?

<b>Side Note:</b> The public should know that in the champ game two seasons ago, I asked Iron to duel and he refused. To be fair, he said he would have done so if it was PDW and not a marine duel though. We're probably doing 3v3 again (I think) but if we go back to duels, everyone should yell at Iron to duel, assuming he's in the champ game. Tyty.

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<b>3. Stavudine</b>
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2-1, 2,979 Healing vs Nexus
2-2, 2,638 Healing vs Crap Shooters
1-4, 2,755 Healing vs Anything To Win
2-1, 2,897 Healing vs Nexus
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<i>3 Kills, 6 Deaths, 2,697 Healing Average (2-0 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Another surprise? I don't think so. Stavudine has the best record vs play-off teams out of everyone. In my opinion, strong wins are the most important stat and nobody can argue against Stavudine's 2-0 record. As the #1 med for Warhawks, he might have the strongest chance to take the top spot away from Sov and Iron, but it'll take another Warhawks win (and strong performance from Stavudine) over Anything To Win to do so. This is a player that everybody would be happy to have on their squad. Except dave. I heard dave hates Stavudine. What an asshole.

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<b>4. Kiediss</b>
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2-3, 3,812 Healing vs Nexus
3-1, 3,426 Healing vs Crap Shooters
3-2, 2,765 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
1-1, 4,091 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
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<i>3 Kills, 1 Deaths, 3,426 Healing Average (1-0 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

A returning player who hasn't missed a beat in the medic department. Impressive statistics all around and very much looks like the veteran player that he is. Do the numbers say he should be above Stavudine? Yes and No. The numbers are better but strength of schedule comes into play here. If Kiediss continues to perform at this level <i>and</i> notches some quality wins under his belt, there's no reason he can't jump to the top of this list.

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<b>5. havok</b>
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3-5, 5,043 Healing vs Nexus
3-4, 2,965 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
1-5, 1,345 Healing vs Anything To Win
2-4, 2,273 Healing vs Crap Shooters
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<i>3 Kills, 9 Deaths, 1,809 Healing Average (1-1 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Havok was a tough one to rank. We all know that if havok is on his game, he's one of the top meds in the game. On the flipside if havok isn't on his game, there's a lot of meds you'd probably take over him. Jekyll and Hyde, Night and Day, etc etc. If Havok performed at the top of his game consistently, he could give Iron some added competition for the med award, but consistency is key. I'm not sure if Havok is staying med or switching to marine what with Paypigs wealth of medics (Havok, Manu, CC, victim), but medic or marine, Paypigs is going to need him in top form.

<b>6. sntr</b>
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3-7, 3,496 Healing vs Warhawks
1-9, 3,919 Healing vs Paypigs
0-8, 3,505 Healing vs Anything To Win
0-8, 4,614 Healing vs Crap Shooters
4-4, 3,762 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
1-13, 3,547 Healing vs Anything To Win
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<i>5 Kills, 45 Deaths, 3,816 Healing Average (0-5 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Future cavebeast award winner? Maybe. He's one of the few Nexus players that appear to be playing up to the level they should be, if not exceeding it. On paper, Nexus should be able to compete with most squads but just haven't put it together yet. One of the lone bright spots has been sntr who leads the league in healing. Unfortunately, this also means that his marines, etc are eating way too many bullets. I could see sntr taking a step up in squads next season and jumping into a starting spot on a true competitor or being that third med for one of the favorites.

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<b>7. Mercy</b>
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4-2, 1,080 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
2-0, 1,734 Healing vs Nexus
1-0, 2,090 Healing vs Paypigs
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<i>1 Kill, 0 Deaths, 2,090 Healing Average (1-0 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Mercy was the one I struggled with most as far as rankings goes and he's probably much lower than he should be at #7. A perfect record vs play-off squads including 0 deaths means he should be higher, yes? Well.. he technically only has 2 games (1 full game and 2 half games) so I knocked him down quite a bit for that. Had he played three full games, he may very well be as high as #3 on the list, but playtime isn't looking likely for Mercy unless someone can't show. I'd have thought he'd have gotten in vs Nexus last week but that wasn't the case. We'll see what Sov chooses to do vs Pigs and Warhawks. Who'll be that second med alongside Iron? Mercy's made his case with three strong showings already and may be deserving of that spot. Time to bench easoe. He doesn't exist anyway. @_@

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<b>8. Romulocks</b>
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0-6, 2,761 Healing vs Warhawks
0-10, 4,382 Healing vs Paypigs
0-8, 3,157 Healing vs Anything to Win
1-7, 4,597 Healing vs Crap Shooters
4-5, 3,180 Healing vs kNock Your Punkass Down
0-14, 3,124 Healing vs Anything To Win
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<i>1 Kill, 45 Deaths, 3,604 Healing Average (0-5 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

I truly believe Romulocks is better than his current numbers show, but as with sntr above him, he needs help from his combat classes. Coming from a squad like hungry beavers (and Warhawks) in the off-season, the change must be pretty jarring for him, but the one thing I'll give Rom credit for is he always has a positive attitude and the voice of angel, which we can all thank him for on his weekly USL podcast and match announcements. In any regards, I expect these numbers to improve as Nexus further gels and on top of that, I look for Rom to continue to be an in-game leader that fosters the aforementioned gelling. Is gelling a word? Fuck it. Ya'll need to be orgy-tier tight and start giving some of these squads a close game. The talent is obviously there and Rom is part of it. Stop catching laws though, thank you. If it weren't for Laws (and the occasional Mortar), Rom might be a top 5 med in the game.

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<b>9. Thiz</b>
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2-10, 4,162 Healing vs Crap Shooters
2-14, 3,683 Healing vs Paypigs
2-6, 3,926 Healing vs Nexus
6-14, 1,625 Healing vs Warhawks (Partial LMG Game)
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<i>12 Kills, 44 Deaths, 3,157 Healing Average (0-3 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Not going to lie - I have no idea who Thiz is and have only seen him pop up in games recently. CTFer? Or new player? Either way, he's performed admirably in the face of adversity to the point where I even considered putting him above Rom. The reasons I didn't were because he has less games played overall and one of those games I believe he switched over to LMG at the mid point. Because of this, I'm not sure if he's sticking to the med position or moving over to LMG where he also looked good. Keep it up.

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<b>10. ThatDude</b>
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3-14, 3,094 Healing vs Anything To Win
3-10, 3,922 Healing vs Warhawks
1-12, 3,178 Healing vs Crap Shooters
1-15, 1,158 Healing vs Paypigs (Partial Marine Game)
1-7, 3,043 Healing vs Nexus
0-13, 2,992 Healing vs Warhawks
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<i>9 Kills, 71 Deaths, 2,869 Healing Average (0-5 Record) vs Current Playoff Squads</i>

Credit where credit is due. I personally wouldn't be able to captain a squad that a lot of the other squads use as target practice, much less medic multiple seasons of such, but ThatDude is That Dude. A solid medic who could benefit from watching someone like Iron or Stavudine. I think the fundamentals are there but his positioning is often not the best and <i>south is king, retards</i> -- er I mean positioning is king, especially for a medic. If you put yourself in a bad position you're going to die and this is often the case with That Dude. As he gets more experience though, I hope this issue gets fixed and if it does, he has a chance to be looked at as one of the more serviceable medics in the league.


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<b>Honorable Mentions:</b> chica, Flash, MTR3 and victim are all likely to jump into the end of year rankings if they stay in the medic role. I know a couple of them alternate between classes so we'll have to see if they have enough games (6) played by the end of the season. CC and Dennis Reynolds are also strong contenders for top five as well, assuming both become more active for actual games. slob will likewise be important for Warhawks if a couple of our medics can't make it to future games.

<b>Dishonorable Mentions:</b> Kaga only included one medic on his list of impactful players. Stavudine, Kiediss, slob and I discussed it and kaga ain't getting anymore heals until he apologizes. A word of advice. Don't pick him for your fantasy teams. Anyone see those 6 deaths in the last match? That was intentional. Shout out to Stavudine and Kiediss.

Poggies, this is the kind of analysis that we need. A+++ material

You right, wtf was I thinking? Please heal me one love

AWESOME read Nick, 10/10 would read again. Love content like this. I am also fully recovered from my motherboard blowing up :(

Thoroughly enjoyed reading that, Thanks Nick!

Thiz4LMG

lmao nick

meds def. needs more credit and recognition

Hell yeah, good read Staley.

gj meds

kaga u idiot

minorities and canadians make the best meds

excellent read. fax and manu still my med GOATS tho

Keyword “still” after being med by Sov and Iron this season. Someone not getting invited back next season.

"Backs: Probably 24 hours from being banned again. What an impact. At least he still has a Hellcat, or three or five or whatever number it is.
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Felt that.

gj meds sntr cavebeast

Nick 4 analyst of the season?????